Sunday, June 30, 2013

Never Are We To Perceive The Endings In The Clouds

never are we to perceive the endings
in the clouds;
what if they never come?

the dangerous horses pulling the coach

from the cliff as the princess is waving
her handkerchief of  finest mist

then falls away from the orphaned snows.
never in the clouds are we to let go
though everything we hold seems cloud-like to
the point of vanishing before we even know
what we have loved-

if we have loved-
mysterious God beyond reason

mary angela douglas 30 june 2013




Variation With Glitter

you seem to be getting your sparkle
back, my godmother said but not
drily, since this is not modern poetry;
I warned you.

go out to the pumpkin patch…
oh look, godmother, your breakfast is
boiling over, I lied, but only because
I was tired of bringing the pumpkins
in all day for the inspectors
after washing all those dishes.

well that could have happened
if Charles Perrault  had suddenly keeled over
elegantly, of course,

Into his golden baguette before
buttering it...
back to the story.
sparkling takes a lot of work unless

you’re a star or glitter my little sister
said having scattered it
all over the house in her own
personal glitter parade

the moral of the stories
oh my dears my dears
don’t stop shining

mary angela douglas 30 june 2013





Elementary School Daydream Reprise

cross-stitched, my bluebird, on a lemon sky
cross-stitched, my cherry tree
that will never be a pie-
and cross-stitched is the cottage
by the navy blue river I could live in-
if only my stitches were more even.
but I write in sloping letters on the blackboard
I love you all
and it doesn’t seem good enough to the Teacher

and I trip on an untied shoelace on the way
back to my desk near by
the drone of the pencil-sharpener curious.
and I wonder if we’re all meant to have leadership skills
where on God’s earth are they going to get all the followers?


mary angela douglas 30 june 2013




Lost Poets On The Decks Of Their Lost Words

lost poets on the decks of their lost words
are always setting sail and setting sail again
out of our sightless sight when the books are closed…
o open the Moroccan green Atlas
to the page with the sugar-candy stain
or the baby’s tears from 1913
and start, again
to read the golden primers of the sun
and, one by one, even if it takes all day
because
we’ve lost the maps to everything and cannot run.

the princess sits in the corner  incapable of spinning
forgetting  the way that mica flashed  in certain stones
on a path she knew was still her very own
not all that long ago

oh once there was a ship and laden
with so many things, it may be
every one was  only launched
from a far-off time
to thee…

mary angela douglas 30 june 2013

Friday, June 28, 2013

Out Of A Golden Nutshell Or A Sigh

[to poetry, itself]




out of a golden nutshell or a sigh
I whispered to the wind, let it begin.
the moon spilled ivory into my dream



and even the shadows were green.






and I believed in You so much,




how could I understand the outer languages

or why anyone would speak in them at all?




I saw I was here in the hereafter





already looking back on them.





and that was so long ago.

before School.



mary angela douglas 28 june 2013

Sunday, June 23, 2013

SCARECROW NOT QUITE YET DISSOLVING BY ORANGE LOLLIPOP LAMPLIGHT

SCARECROW NOT QUITE YET DISSOLVING BY ORANGE LOLLIPOP LAMPLIGHT

the scarecrow mixed his tenses but
he smiled
although inside he was

weeping straw, sometimes-

he gestured with his rag-doll hands,

the very soul of courtesy.


oh did you hold onto the tangerine days?

each one was like a best balloon-
and straw-by-straw on your


lopsided way, find everything

was meant for you?

and we were sorry for the times

you skittered into the flame-throwers-

and so happy you were stitched up-

in the end-


mary angela douglas 10=11 february 2010


Thursday, June 20, 2013

Holy Freedom Cried In A Cloud

holy freedom cried in a cloud,
the one that Blake sent
when the winds were soughing

green-starred,


forever at the beginning of all things
I wonder where you are.
holy freedom dreamed apart
far from the frontiers 
where they thought they gathered gold.
and the children weaned on your fairytales no longer
your bright blue that I held in my heart
wandered in a technical wilderness and cried
in the valley where the lilies hung their heads
and sighed not only when the winds blew
where are you

where are you
mary angela douglas 20 june 2013

Thursday, June 13, 2013

To You, Reading Over My Shoulder

to you, reading over my shoulder,


may you find light in unexpected places



may the afternoon suddenly be wrapped in tissue;


ornamented with impossible stars waiting for you

to unwrap: soft pearl bright ribbons of the borealis

may it all unravel like a forgotten birthday.

we are untaught to take the sky-blue end of the crepe paper streamer and
keep following it

I’ll hold the other end

just as if it were a holiday neither one knew about.

there must be cake in here somewhere

they make you look for bitter things in your line of work.

or do they?

let’s pretend I cried only to the wind

you are in a honeycomb, believe me.
do not take burnished flight

until you reach the end of the story, even though-

how could I know the ending you were meant to find,

invisible watcher, watched over by God

reading over my shoulder

or Icarus, in the archives in the very clouds are


the blueprints into freedom someone somewhere stashed 



with a beauty overflowing, a glance over the shoulder

in the kernel of the word within the Word.
(in the government of  God, My King)

mary angela douglas 13 june 2013,27 november 2014

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Cooling My Pies On The Windowsill Of The World

cooling my pies on the windowsill of the world
I pray that the earth won't shift even in the same breath

surmising the paper dragons will arise
and we'll go through it all again.
but blow the candles out on the cake you still

imagine silver beaded all over, thick with plums,

with layers of raspberry filling, custard, stars!

or fling the sundial's shadow out into space

my optimist
far from the garden where the roses bloom too late
is the tamarind forever you counted on.

still in the desert those cooling glades appear

known to the unknown poets before you,
age upon age in the shade of God

lengthening into our days:
the emerald flutes beyond Seeming and year on year.
sweet is the mind where this can't disappear...

mary angela douglas 29 may 2013

Monday, May 20, 2013

"WHATSOEVER THINGS ARE LOVELY...THINK ON THESE THINGS..."


"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."


Philippians 4:8
- King James Bible "Authorized Version", Cambridge Edition



please remember these words all your life.



Wednesday, May 01, 2013

What Will I Do With My Poem When It Grows Paper Wings

what will I do with my poem when it grows paper wings

will I fling it into space;

will violins break off apace from

shining, momentarily-

then?

or will it chirr in the shadows

making believe it’s crickets,

not fooling anyone.



what will I do

if it stands on its head and topples over

into the dewy grasses I remembered:

making the children dressed in peach and plum

laugh uncontrollably?


or gets by, in tatters, on a black cherry wind

incapable of fending, really, the aunts all said:

what if it never comes home for Christmas

with a rubied scarab pin

in flecked tissue paper with a


scattering of small stars?

or goes down the slide too fast, afraid of clouds?


what if it grows paper wings and sings and sings

itself into someone’s last summer on earth:

vanishing from one kingdom-


popping up in another-

froth of lemon and

freight of snow.

mary angela douglas 1 may 2013.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

I've Looked Through Every Part Of The Castle, The Princess Sighed

[to Carl Sandburg, Walter De La Mare, Charles Dickens, and Christopher Morley]*

I’ve looked through every part of the castle,

the princess sighed,
for the storybook I left behind.
the one that rustled like the leaves whenever it rained.
the one where the sun melted, butter-fresh, on every page
churning gold to gold untold.whenever you read

to yourself, alone.


I’m telling it my way dear she said to her younger sister.

oh Alicia be good and keep the magic fishbone close at hand for the future you can’t see yet,
whispered the illuminations.

dressed in peach silk sunbursts godmother arrives

at the exact moment you are disheartened
and the sun dress with pockets turns to
starlight over the prairies;
the dish of raspberries smiles through the cream.
drink it all up! there’s the family crest.
what is a family crest? the baby wondered,
staring at the china
botton of the bowl-

wanting more, but not yet saying specifically:

storybooks cocoa and animal crackers or
fleur -  fleur di lis! (how could she?)

at the brink, there’s the queen

sewing sensibly by a green window
or is it that the green comes all indoors

whenever you start to murmur about the waterfall

you tamed in the living room last summer
when the music came through
and we were done with board games and dancing?
it’s so refreshingly refreshing why did they leave
mused  the dog with the silver paws

in charge of rumination and the butternut shadows.


there’s the lemonade springs, the bluebirds scattered 

throughout oh please
stay on that page my sister whispered, where the candy 

canes grow on trees

or the clouds turn to cream puffs over the village and the 
stewpot keeps on (turn the page, the fairies chimed)
bubbling all winter long, even when we can’t find work;indeed, 
dear God, we find other things.

mary angela douglas 16, 17 april 2013


*respectively: for that story about cream puffs,  for the 

poem called Silver, for Alicia and the Magic Fishbone, (and
her brothers and sisters), for Christopher Morley for his
poem about a favorite childhood snack.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

COMING FROM THE CINEMA I MET MY SOUL

COMING FROM THE CINEMA I MET MY SOUL (for Dame Maggie Smith)
reimagining a PBS Charlie Rose interview with
Dame Maggie Smith, the poem beng her answer to

the questions about her "process"...in the form of a dramatic monologue with her own soul.] it was a good interview originally but he could never get her to answer anything regarding how she acted,or prepared for acting...so I made up an answer for myself PLEASE NOTE THIS POEM IS NOT POLITICAL AT ALL; IT IS MERELY A DREAM WITHIN A DREAM I HAD SOME TIME AGO ON HOW I IMAGINE THE SOUL OF THE ACTRESS AND HER LOVE FOR ACTING]I really don't know how I do it, Dame Maggie finally said I seem to remember her saying. "It's a mystery to me as well.".]..

coming from the cinema I met my soul
caught in the tread of the moviegoers exiting;
whirling in the turnstiles.
dream on dream in the seam of all this seeming
I feel carpet-tacked under the shuffling
sometimes in the scarlet lobbies of the world

she said to me, on the escalator, going down.
is poetry dead? is there an arrow in my back
skimming the moonlight at the crossroads?
it snows on the screen and I am cold

and stitched by the anti-heroes to the track

with my best silver sash I never lent them
and only God to lean on when the train comes.
somewhere there is thick soup and a pale blue shawl,
Chopin’s etudes and the blossoming trees
beyond all this popcorn and the flatlands’ flash.
and is my jeweled kaleidoscope
still trained on the moons
I left for you at home

dissolved in sequined weeping near the weeping cherry?
oh nowhere do I find
the citron country sung of long ago:.
the silken maps the missing compasses

for the kingdoms broadly confiscated, never atoned for…
oh what can I begin to say
who still can see in bright array
the subtexts of the brave and free
shifting imperceptibly
from stage to stage.
at the gate of every village left on earth gold coins
rained down her face instead of tears
as in the ancient fairytales when the sun appears

or near the atriums, decked in pearl-on-pearl
she merely stood
embroidered with laments from the dream-time.

unraveling:

like party favors at a birthday.
or what can I pretend to know
who saw the weeping cherry go
in winds that heeded not my will
in a tinfoil crown that’s shining, still…
is there feeling anymore she asked the straggling children
in the afternoon-
before the sun fizzles or the universe or

wouldn’t you like to know.
what is the sun they said
descending like no twelve
princesses ever could.
she fastened her words to the spokes of 

the winds behind them-
are you lost she said, almost in velvet

prodding with a violet hatpin

a tearful music, missing home:
 ..brief -  charioteers-
in the mesmerizing tread of the tread and the tread of the knock-off party shoes

plodding on in front of you, and filing on and on

into a dungeon, and not a jeweled mine?
oh Love from love cannot be severed when
enchantment’s  thistledown blown down the opaline anything
chimed from the stage God would have staged for you forever

in any summer evening’s lemon sheen…
lean, lissomely, to hear
her least soliloquy in a lilac picture hat
for the last rose leaving…
take the pale green daydream
wrapped for you in snow.
I really think you should
she whispered to the last child in line,
the one with the Juliet snood
and the cherry car-coat…
it may do you good.

mary angela douglas 23, 24, 25, 26 march 2013

Saturday, March 16, 2013

Where Is The Beautiful Kingdom Where You Were

[to Van Cliburn at the piano playing “intuitively”  (July 12, 1934-February 27, 2013)]

where is the beautiful kingdom where you were
whenever you played music; its Niagras, at first. misted, far away?
the secret listener knew, surprised by an inner chromatic marveling
intensified from unseen castle to castle as you
sorted out the battlements
or were welling up from so many underground streams all at once-
iridescent in the night’s own studio with the windows flung wide open…
scattering the sweet pea blossoming sounds ..
until we were as you, yourself, unwaveringly,
solely comprised of music as the Heavens are of stars
from then on…

this is the mystic’s parade and vanishing
the soul said softly to the Trinity, no longer mystified:
is this how we’ve been breathing underwater all this time
imagining we heard music asked the child
and lapsed into a fairytale silence,
the rest is happiness.

these were the heart’s requirements always when
wishing through the lens of another world
the one we’d missed, somehow, like a cherry bright bus
at the corner of the everyday
that just comes once going somewhere special
in the childhood of a Spring

that can’t be cherished twice  yet now we hear again

the hue of something glimpsed, glittering that flits away
at the corner of the eye or through the eye of sound
Rildia would say the clarity
that can’t stop pouring out with a
drifting loveliness that must not die
oh searing everyone.or  only you, who are always listening – listening…
for the taproot of music startled into daylight’s continents.

And glistening…
now you are going away
taking
all this light, grieving. piano, pianissimo, sown while
dreaming concert halls keep the glow of something

we have lost again like children in the long-ago
thinking it’s still in our pockets with the last lemon drop, small
petal of the honeysuckle;
too young to know that the ripples rippling out from the
genial smile, the cadenced voice the sunlit heights
will not return just because you asked them to.
or how much it can cost to unlock a world.
but where are the snipers at Beauty now?
what have they dreamed into leaves and flowers recently
who named your career short-lived, too little gleaned

too much too soon, too
unassuming in intellect as if it weren’t enough to
be glad for the music in you and to give it all away.
every time you played for anyone:
these  lustres of the
piano moon dropping no grace notes over Texas, filling the room
as if it were the universe.
and it was.

dumbfounded, they would have been then and crystal faceted, themselves
before they found the crooked mirror things to say out of envy
when you called the beautiful

kingdoms down delineated and delineated
and all around us, green or snowy fragrances
alive as L’Isle Joyeuse floated out to us on a breeze
in the lone colours of your piano only
or the rose of Rosina painting your music red
crisp garnet hummingbird rubied and rubied...

as you distilled the deepening shadows of your blue gold fissions
charming the ineffable
wreathing, joyously near at hand
beyond all vividness, kindness we knew to be possible in this world
until we understood, weeping violet,-
turreted:
it was there within our own hearing
the tomb of buried Music emptied
into the singing Empyrean.

mary angela douglas 13, 14, 15, 16 march 2013

Note on poem:  I loved listening to Van Cliburn very much as a child in the first and second grades and from then on when I first heard his recordings in my grandmother's piano studio.

Rildia in the poem as you may know was his mother (Rildia Bee O'Bryan Cliburn) who taught him marvelously well from age 3 to 17 when he was under the guidance of Madame Rosina Levine who, according to the author, Howard Reich who wrote a beautiful biography of Van Cliburn,  (titled only Van Cliburn, Thomas Nelson Publishers. copyright 1993) saw in his music the color red.  (which I have slightly elaborated on to indicate the richness of her teaching him in the Russian style, the grand manner enhancing what he learned from Rildia Bee.

I recognize Van Cliburn meant and means much to people all over the world including his fellow Texans and the Russian people he always held in his heart by his own admission.

To me, he was the first great music I ever remember hearing (although I head Chopin and Debussy first rather than the Tchaikovsky and Rachmoninoff), therefore, the reference to the beautiful Debussy piece he played so well and which I listened to after he died with tears:
L'Isle Joyeuse.