I JUST WANT TO READ THEM!
I just want to read the books.
I don't want to talk about them.
I don't want to answer questions at the end of each chapter.
I don't care what the theme is.
What the main characters represent.
What the setting is.
I don't want to go to a lecture about the books. I don't want to sit in a circle at a book club clubbing the book to death even if they DO serve nice sandwiches and light refreshments with.
I don't want to take a test on the books. And most especially, not a pop quiz.
I don't want to be cross examined on my thesis about the books which, according to the rules, can only be a thesis not even about the books THEMSELVES but about what other people have said about them, POSSIBLY FOR CENTURIES, not ordinary people of course, but literary shamans, before a crowd of witnesses with their arms crossed
who are there to decide and rule on me as if I were on trial as to whether or not I can be a PhD of books and be admitted through their sniffy snobby gates of the certifiably intellectual.
I don't want to show off on the train, bus, metro, trolly car, or in the corner coffee shop by prominently displaying the book(s) and pretending to read them while everyone is watching or, reading the exact same book for the exact same reason everyone else is reading it, the it book of the moment, which means, heck, anyway, no one is even watching me read. They think I am watching THEM read.
I don't want to get a B.A. an M.A., an M.F.A. a PHD or a Girl Scout badge in the books as if it doesn't count if you just read them on your own in your own room with the shades DOWN.
I don't want to impress anyone at parties by quoting the books and, by the same token
I don't want to impress the head hunter, job interviewer, temp recruiter, or any panel of experts on tv or radio or satellite signal or internet blog or spacecraft with my knowledge of the books.
I don't want to use the books to launch my own book, as props you know, on the stage where I am speaking to a vast audience and talk so much about the books and my relationship with them as if they only exist for me, (and as if those listening who speak the same language, who read the same language I do couldn't do it without my help, poor incapable things) that I have to have someone bring me a tall, fancy glass of icewater to set on the lecturn and sip with an exhausted look on my face from time to time because you know it's all so strenuous being this person so full of talking about books and who anyway
just wants to read them if nobody kinows about it?
mary angela douglas 6 august 2015;6 june 20`7
Note: This essay is not at all directed to those kindly people who just want to share their Love of books with others without fanfare.
I just want to read the books.
I don't want to talk about them.
I don't want to answer questions at the end of each chapter.
I don't care what the theme is.
What the main characters represent.
What the setting is.
I don't want to go to a lecture about the books. I don't want to sit in a circle at a book club clubbing the book to death even if they DO serve nice sandwiches and light refreshments with.
I don't want to take a test on the books. And most especially, not a pop quiz.
I don't want to be cross examined on my thesis about the books which, according to the rules, can only be a thesis not even about the books THEMSELVES but about what other people have said about them, POSSIBLY FOR CENTURIES, not ordinary people of course, but literary shamans, before a crowd of witnesses with their arms crossed
who are there to decide and rule on me as if I were on trial as to whether or not I can be a PhD of books and be admitted through their sniffy snobby gates of the certifiably intellectual.
I don't want to show off on the train, bus, metro, trolly car, or in the corner coffee shop by prominently displaying the book(s) and pretending to read them while everyone is watching or, reading the exact same book for the exact same reason everyone else is reading it, the it book of the moment, which means, heck, anyway, no one is even watching me read. They think I am watching THEM read.
I don't want to get a B.A. an M.A., an M.F.A. a PHD or a Girl Scout badge in the books as if it doesn't count if you just read them on your own in your own room with the shades DOWN.
I don't want to impress anyone at parties by quoting the books and, by the same token
I don't want to impress the head hunter, job interviewer, temp recruiter, or any panel of experts on tv or radio or satellite signal or internet blog or spacecraft with my knowledge of the books.
I don't want to use the books to launch my own book, as props you know, on the stage where I am speaking to a vast audience and talk so much about the books and my relationship with them as if they only exist for me, (and as if those listening who speak the same language, who read the same language I do couldn't do it without my help, poor incapable things) that I have to have someone bring me a tall, fancy glass of icewater to set on the lecturn and sip with an exhausted look on my face from time to time because you know it's all so strenuous being this person so full of talking about books and who anyway
just wants to read them if nobody kinows about it?
mary angela douglas 6 august 2015;6 june 20`7
Note: This essay is not at all directed to those kindly people who just want to share their Love of books with others without fanfare.
