What If I Slipped

what if I slipped through the net of dreams
not returning to
familiar scenes, consensus, anything

letting the golden slipknots slip
from the tower or be reeled in
with all the hours

that may have been
and the May crownings
and the flowers wreathed

for remember whens
that did not breathe
there melting like snows away

let the margins fade with the outlines
of a face not yet come into bloom
then let me sound retreat

telegram pocketed and
never read aloud
fastening fate on another cloud

afar from the pearl and the marl of it
let the moats be closed for repairs
until further notice.

let the snows fly,
unconscious of their erasures of
or what would have been, the lies

had I chosen otherwise
it's a failing blue of the
dust of lilacs

of the paling doves from their

fairy tale branches rustling
that I have Lost
to all that entrances.

be buried deep
beyond all sleep
the wounding that

would not occur then.
then return, returning, returned
the country I have heard

in deeper and deepening music
while I learned to be
coded with all you feel or

could feel let the winds
take it all then
let the only word left be away

then say it
vanishing, on the strand.

mary angela douglas 18 june 2017