is there any word
we asked the birds
as if we had emerged from
the fairy tale woods
and could understand
all languages
the phrasing of leaves
as in music
the embroideries
of the wind
is there any word
from the disappeared
the disappearing
the ones who willed me to disappear
as though not born
we half sang
in the clearing
and we thought of mountains
of glaciers too
of solar flares
of this great magic trick
which will spell tenure for them
for being on track on point
staying on message of the non messaging back
to faces frozen in the mirror
and then, of mirrors melting
calling out in the last moments:
is there anything anywhere
that can answer even a simple question
where is this or that or who
o yes
with no notes to confess
why on absences from school
they all switched desks
we'll look into it they say
before they bolt the latch.
in case you should come back
and where is the accounting
wrapped in gold
that indicates the bought and sold
the whisper quiet
of those who have no heart
but just continue
as they are
in the working day.
filing it all away.
as though we were in between worlds
or had fallen behind the filing cabinets
as into a vast crevasse
our name extinct on earth.
is there any word, gesture, face
you can possibly unearth
to indicate a human race
a home at least in a photograph fading
that proves
oh, once we were in the census
with the porch light on
and I am the disappeared
I realize after years;
the one purged from the system
the one with no existence
when they answer with insistence
before the local court
and I in plain view
we don't know her
or she or it
and on the record
for the record
by the record
not acknowledging
I am not being acknowledged
by even the least flicker...
so that you yourself are
caught, distraught in the vainglorious vagaries of the world
where close kin choose
to erase you in sworn testimony
as though your were a blotch
on an old school report
cut off at the pass.
not even that.
I bowed my head in contrition
to God who knew, the only Witness true
though I knew no cause for
their ambition
to leave no clue.
and in a mysterious shower of leaves
I was absolved
from being the lost in time
and the last in line
to come up to the window
just as the grating closed
so I couldn't murmur
is there any word
not a single rose,
and do the planets sing
at my removal from the quora
the dress coded choirs
I'm missing from the wire reports
on who oh Lord God
fashioned for us
this bridal ring
of deafening silence
this invisibility cloak
unwished for
and do You, You with me,
Lord God.
feel it too?
mary angela douglas 20 october 2017
we asked the birds
as if we had emerged from
the fairy tale woods
and could understand
all languages
the phrasing of leaves
as in music
the embroideries
of the wind
is there any word
from the disappeared
the disappearing
the ones who willed me to disappear
as though not born
we half sang
in the clearing
and we thought of mountains
of glaciers too
of solar flares
of this great magic trick
which will spell tenure for them
for being on track on point
staying on message of the non messaging back
to faces frozen in the mirror
and then, of mirrors melting
calling out in the last moments:
is there anything anywhere
that can answer even a simple question
where is this or that or who
o yes
with no notes to confess
why on absences from school
they all switched desks
we'll look into it they say
before they bolt the latch.
in case you should come back
and where is the accounting
wrapped in gold
that indicates the bought and sold
the whisper quiet
of those who have no heart
but just continue
as they are
in the working day.
filing it all away.
as though we were in between worlds
or had fallen behind the filing cabinets
as into a vast crevasse
our name extinct on earth.
is there any word, gesture, face
you can possibly unearth
to indicate a human race
a home at least in a photograph fading
that proves
oh, once we were in the census
with the porch light on
and I am the disappeared
I realize after years;
the one purged from the system
the one with no existence
when they answer with insistence
before the local court
and I in plain view
we don't know her
or she or it
and on the record
for the record
by the record
not acknowledging
I am not being acknowledged
by even the least flicker...
so that you yourself are
caught, distraught in the vainglorious vagaries of the world
where close kin choose
to erase you in sworn testimony
as though your were a blotch
on an old school report
cut off at the pass.
not even that.
I bowed my head in contrition
to God who knew, the only Witness true
though I knew no cause for
their ambition
to leave no clue.
and in a mysterious shower of leaves
I was absolved
from being the lost in time
and the last in line
to come up to the window
just as the grating closed
so I couldn't murmur
is there any word
not a single rose,
and do the planets sing
at my removal from the quora
the dress coded choirs
I'm missing from the wire reports
on who oh Lord God
fashioned for us
this bridal ring
of deafening silence
this invisibility cloak
unwished for
and do You, You with me,
Lord God.
feel it too?
mary angela douglas 20 october 2017
