When You Have Been Away

when you have been away a long, long time
you will say, why did it all turn out this way
if I go back, will they remember me

are they even there.
are they even still
who they were then.

and it will seem to you through
sudden surmise how clouds
are also living on the ground

not just the skies
and disappear;though
year to year you send them mental postcards.

you're apt to choose the brightest hues
here's me beneath the turquoise sun
you lie, not feigning love;

they'll like this one, you'll smile to yourself.
taking one off the revolving shelf in the drugstore
and that one's their favorite colour.

but they've "moved on".in Time
becoming alien instead; instead of the ones you knew
though they think surely you're the strange one;

it's too true
that you send telegrams to who they were.
that won't go through;

you alone remain yourself
looking around to see what could be missing
in the world or your strange

part in it now and this is exile,
and I am alone with what I know
and cannot hold a single conversation about it

because, down to the last illusion,
they've forgotten it all.

mary angela douglas 2 april 2018