Bad River You Will Not

sometimes I feel there is a bad river in me
that longs to form at the mouth of so many tiny griefs
that wants to overwhelm me when they converge

so that I am at flood tide.
looking at me you wouldnt think so.
and I dont understand myself

where all these dark waters came from
rising from the mud and from the creeks
that were benign for so long.

bad river you will not take me away
though I am dismayed beyond expression.
or suck me under in your swamp like

vortexes. at any moment I fail, or seem to
I know God will prevail, prevail in me
though I am one small person

looking out to sea
waiting for the beautiful ships to come.

mary angela douglas 24 august 2019