How To Endure A Circus

how to endure a circus, one that never ends
the candy turned sour and the lights grow dim

and the showpiece is you

turning on all wheels
with no appeal.
how to address an atmosphere

as soon as you speak, it isn't there
you must be dreaming the monitors say
no one here would treat you that way

so you find your place in the nearest ditch
but the storm stays put and it's always like this

at the flick of the switch;
when company comes
oh suddenly everything's kingdom come

confetti descends and they all pretend

and the guests depart saying isn't it swell
they treat the residents here so well.

or it's your turn to take the long green walk
to solve the equation but there's no chalk

and nothing makes sense but you pay the rent
and you pay and you pay in belittling ways
and you try to say oh you cant do this

but what can you say to a face like a fist
and who would believe you anyway
when the management crowns you

clown of the day.

Christ on Calvary understood
the nooks and crannies of the neighborhood
and the gleaming cup and the horror within

and all those mocked on a wheel that spins
and spins and spins

till you grow dizzy in your tears
the target of the prefab years
where they file the reports

and collect their pay
all in the name of the working day
and no one believes a word you say

but Christ on the cross who saw it too
and bides his time and comforts you
and knows the greasepaint isn't real

knows every single nail you feel.

mary angela douglas 24 january 2020