What I Knew Before And Remember Now

it's a glorious rarity: the time to be still.
ro give up the will entirely.
to require nothing.

a view with soft clouds.even if only inferred
and nothing loud.
not even a seashell's  roar

of far off  tiny waves.
no rave reviews.
no chosen few.

the pearl of quiet.
even the leafy boughs with no wind.
gone are the ragged edges caused by

eternally fending for oneself
fending off enemies the real and the perceived.
the need for comment on every single thing.

there at the core behind your own door closed
no one could know even if you were still on earth.
then you are like a stone enduring what you endured

not feeling it.

alternately stone or star Rainier Maria Rilke said.
you listen to him though the printed word
which is most certainly music in his case at least.

you listen until you understand.time can cease without your being dead.
you can be on the other side and this is peace;
that being still is what you wanted to do anyway.

through this, beauty comes. unbidden.

and if it rains you dont close the windows
so that the evening can come through.

mary angela douglas 15 february 2020