Farther Out

when you're young you're still so close to the shore

you could reach and touch the leaves

you've seen since childhood the purple shadow on the floor.

you don't know yet as you launch farther out things will start

to float past you as though on a separate flood

or someone waving to you on the escalator 

going in the opposite direction until

they disappear over the ridge you'll never reach.

and you think with a start: that was me

the way I used to be

and you adjust. and think It's not so bad.

I'm still midstream and suddenly you wake up

from a fairly long dream and think

my God I'm drifting farther out

than I have ever been

where are the moorings.

you would give anything to dive

into the beautiful foundering of your life

and bring out even one bracelet.

but you survived.

there has to be a reason why.

as slow as the clocks tick or as fast 

you'll reach your cloudy destination,

home at last, among the strawberries

mary angela douglas 22 april 2020