THE DEATH OF VAN GOGH (REPOSTED AND REVISED)

 there was a blue road, marbled with white

he thought it was water in the dying sun
and a field the clearest of lemons

I have carried this sunflower heart
he cried all silently until I can hardly stand
and now it beats without me

so that the crows can see
and the blue road intensified
as if it were the sea

the painted clouds weeping

will I disintegrate now
half wondering he wandered
dissolve into time past - stumbling-

and dip the brush at least, at last
into a glass of infinite colours Theo!
let me drink it up

and the blue road with it

drink up the sun as if it were absinthe
and give God back His colours lent
and a shot rings out

in a field the colour of lemons
and he clutches the gold of the sun
the feeling that life is done or seeping out

or bleeding in blues and yellows
and a burning, blurring wound
and senseles slaughter

of the sunflower heart

at noon a blue gold radiance,
dissolving into God;

the blue road intensifies into iris

and the field gnats mourn.

mary angela douglas 27 december 2017;29 july 2022