I GATHERED FRESH GARDENIAS;YOU WERE MISSING (FINAL VERSION)

I GATHERED FRESH GARDENIAS;YOU WERE MISSING

for Virginia Woolf

I gathered fresh gardenias: you were missing
and zinnia periled summers waved me by.
I followed down the path of your demise,

my own breath caught in trees
above the Flood
and pressed my fingertips into

your orchid-backed mirror's
perfect pearl-on-pearl
turning through each

dream-curled edge
into the whorl of
contravening years

and sallow interpreters.
o willow willow war was near
but the kindness of your mind

does not contract; the crisp
carnation rooms are still
your own:

a crystal condensation's flame
on the flung-open window; the
inlaid diaries of quartz

and rain-
all chatelained gestures foregone
for these moonlit cloud-inscriptions

of uncalibrated grace are written
on the evening sky.
sensing your angel's churning wing,

I cried.
o rose geranium stillness
violet sky

against which lemon lovely sounds were
splashing...
your apricot excursion's standing down

oh why
no second snow on snow's appearing,
starred like winter's cotillions,

only warmer...
your garnet constellations
break apart and my heart

falters
losing this kaleidoscope
forever

with no continuance:
the semi-precious laws remain in force.
mere sleeves of her egress remain:

sheer-beaded brocade caught
as the moment, strand by strand
too visibly dissolves.

desert me now, sotto voce,
as your angels melt in music,

gone

then I saw
brightness brightness
every shining phrase unshunned

and drowned in Light

mary angela douglas 30-may-2 june 2009