There Is A River, A Great River Of Sadness In The World

 THERE IS A GREAT RIVER, RIVER OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD

(for Sidney Lanier)

there is a great river, river of Sadness in the world

mightier than the Mississippi, far reaching when it floods

and if it could this river of sadness would flood the whole delta

the delta having become the entire world. drowning the reeds the

drowsing reeds dousing

the colorful impromptu boats, the papery docks the mystic

promontories

the blades of grass we used to whistle through,or try to the purple

thistle too

all my small losses, the big griefs too, the tremendous griefs

are only tributaries seeking their somewhere to be on

the days when the river recalls its spurious clouds , its wild onion

grasses, yellow mud, pink clay...the hills like sugar loaves broken

into,

feed into it, lovely tributaries, unmentioned on all the maps

maybe you will be home at last or go on grieving, how can they

help but do anything else but

flow as if they were going somewhere whispers the wind so

velvetly

that somewhere is what I know all gales being spent:

they are only feeding the river of Sadness

that great river cutting through;

all the beautiful

dying along its banks, the birds and butterflies

the crimson flowers and the azul passing away

the river reives it all and dreams

the long sadness, the dark green sadness

away between man and God no real intermediary only Christ

on the sea wave could be that the river his mirrors

and I am here for just this cicada light, winsome, slender

daytrip thread of the needle:eye of the needle

to record it singing, murmuring, humming the river of Sadness

so that when on some oblivious day it dries up and the dragonflies

flit away from

the sweet river the terrible river leaving only

some finality of orange red riverbed rockbed with so many cracks

and

fissures, the dark blue of the silken silt displaced

the steam of the lost dreaming through it,

small animals will come and drink there

in the sudden showers of what we knew

the deluge of it all returning in the finale of tears;

before the rich coral and gladdening years appear;

I am giving notice here.

mary angela douglas 18 may 2021;25 may 2021